Me Myself And I

It has always been just me...
It has to be me that is always left out.

It is always me that have to pretend that I am not affected by your nonchalance...
It is always me that have to forced out a smile...
It is always me that have to be there for you...
It is always me that have to forgive...
It is always me that have to forget...

I am tired.

Do I really smile and laugh from my heart... you never know... never bother to find out.
Do I really have to be there for you always... hav you ask yourself have you been there for me?... you dun even know when I feel irritated.

Do I really forgive and forget... brain is something you cant control... you cant jus delete memories.

I am tired.

I know that friendship need lots of patience and attention to maintain, but i am tired..
I seem to know your every side... detect your every mood... almost know immediatedly when you are feeling low... But do you know?

I know its not your fault, blame on me...I am too observant and paying too much attention to your slightest move. Its all my fault. It is never yours.


I am tired.


I may say things that you do not like to hear but i am being trueful to you, but you seems like having a thousand things kept from me. Most of the time i feel that I am the last to know. Hurt is what i feel.

I may joke around making fun of you, making you feel unimportant, but you truely are important. Its not your fault, blame on me...I am too blunt and too inconsiderate, should have kept my mouth shut. Its my fault. It is never yours.


I am really tired.


I may seem like a puzzle or a maze that you cant understand and solve or find me very unpredictable... but have you tried... to at least make the first move...

It not your fault, blame on me... I am being difficult for you.

Dun care what the fuck now...I jus wanna slp and forget all the nonsense i said today... But can i really forget or jus trying to cheat myself that i can forget ?

I guess I am jus a liar, a pretender, a cheater, a hypnotiser, a whatever that seem unimportant to you.


Goodnite and Bye