Bottle

First thing before i start... I hate to know things from other ppl's mouth..
I can be the 2nd the 3rd the 4th the watever to know things from you...
But why must i hear things from other ppl...
And when they go "Huh, you dunno meh.." and the idiotic look, looking at me...
It HURTS...


Talking abt bottle...not really bottle as in "bottle" but is action "bottled".
If bottleing up my thoughts and feeling could make someone more happy and create less trouble for the person... I will definately do it...
And I do it very often...

I cant stand it when ppl try to act saint by keeping quiet but have the "sad" , "troubled", "moody" vibe all written in their faces...
Cus this will make the other party feeling worst than you tell her straight in the face...
So You Might as well say it out..dun try act saint when you cant...

My defination of "bottled"...
Is to keep everything to yourself without any traces...
This includes expressions, mood, and the vibe around you...
And in order to make your self better, try forgetting the whole thing, Hypnotise is a good way..haha(joking...)
I am not a saint but i do this for the ones i care and love...
And this Become easier cus i love and care for them...

And Lastly, the reson wrote this is because a special (kaypoh) someone ask me...
"you are always so cheerful and energetic, nv see you sad or moody, always keep sad and bad things away from us...How you do that?"... "Teach me lae..."

I teach you liao hor...whether you can learn it or not is up to you le...

Meaningful Lyrics..

How do I say goodbye to what we had?
The good times that made us laugh
Outweigh the bad.

I thought we'd get to see forever
But forever's gone away
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

I don't know where this road
Is going to lead
All I know is where we've been
And what we've been through.

If we get to see tomorrow
I hope it's worth all the wait
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

And I'll take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

And I'll take with me the memories

To be my sunshine after the rain

It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.





Song: It's Hard To Say Goodbye
By: Boyz 2 Men

I will

I will not underestimate the power of family unity.

I will not neglect a true friend.

I will cross my bridges as i come to them.

I will begin all challenges with optimism, rather than doubt.

Somethings ppl should understand

1) I am very close with my sis...younger or older...i am very close....
this means that i can take anything from them and see and touch...
this means i can take their hp and see and read..
this means anytime of the day or nite i can read their smses...
this means that bad mouthing me behind my back infront of my sis is a big no no...
this means is a wrong move...

2)I am very subborn...yes...
this means toking me around is 99 percent impossible...
this means i can only settle thing myself...
this means no matter who also cant change the fact that i have make my choice...
this means asking my sis to tok me out is a big no no...
this means is a wrong move...

3)A peacemaker is someone who calm things down...
this means not taking any side...
this means understanding the whole situation...
this means toking to both parties..
this means blaming one party and making situation worst is a big no no...
this means is a wrong move...

4)3 Years of friendship is something we should cherish..
this means understanding...
this means caring..
this means trust..
this means memories..
this means when we are unhappy wit each other we should sit down and think abt wat went wrong..
this means blaming each other is useless...
this means accusing each other is a big no no...
this means YOU are accusing me and it is a wrong move..

I didnt say anything from the start, i did not fight, i did not quarrel, this is not me cus you are my friend, i do not wish to shout at you...
I jus need a period of time to cool myself down and do some thinking... and i dun meant ignoring you and i dun meant for you to give in to me...cus i dun even know whose fault...i did some thinking abt the probs between us... i need time...

This went on till someone make me flare up...last thing i wish is to use my Masters Degree diploma standard of valgarities on my friend... But i was really mad... seeing that someone accuse me of doing somethings...

Maybe i should do somethinking on this too...
Maybe is me who believe that action speak louder than words attitude should change..
Maybe is me who is so observant and sensitive to other ppl feelings should change...

USED

Jus Somethings I just Found out...

Crying in the bus looking at scenery is useless (this include crying in bathroom)
Drinking Alcohol on a empty stomach is useless, it dosent fill you up...
Too overly concern is useless...
At times of danger depending on your friend to save you is useless...
Thinking that putting someone in a high position in your heart and that person will treat you the same is also useless...
Thinking that pain will go away is also useless...

Me Myself And I

It has always been just me...
It has to be me that is always left out.

It is always me that have to pretend that I am not affected by your nonchalance...
It is always me that have to forced out a smile...
It is always me that have to be there for you...
It is always me that have to forgive...
It is always me that have to forget...

I am tired.

Do I really smile and laugh from my heart... you never know... never bother to find out.
Do I really have to be there for you always... hav you ask yourself have you been there for me?... you dun even know when I feel irritated.

Do I really forgive and forget... brain is something you cant control... you cant jus delete memories.

I am tired.

I know that friendship need lots of patience and attention to maintain, but i am tired..
I seem to know your every side... detect your every mood... almost know immediatedly when you are feeling low... But do you know?

I know its not your fault, blame on me...I am too observant and paying too much attention to your slightest move. Its all my fault. It is never yours.


I am tired.


I may say things that you do not like to hear but i am being trueful to you, but you seems like having a thousand things kept from me. Most of the time i feel that I am the last to know. Hurt is what i feel.

I may joke around making fun of you, making you feel unimportant, but you truely are important. Its not your fault, blame on me...I am too blunt and too inconsiderate, should have kept my mouth shut. Its my fault. It is never yours.


I am really tired.


I may seem like a puzzle or a maze that you cant understand and solve or find me very unpredictable... but have you tried... to at least make the first move...

It not your fault, blame on me... I am being difficult for you.

Dun care what the fuck now...I jus wanna slp and forget all the nonsense i said today... But can i really forget or jus trying to cheat myself that i can forget ?

I guess I am jus a liar, a pretender, a cheater, a hypnotiser, a whatever that seem unimportant to you.


Goodnite and Bye